Marriage 101: Let’s Talk About Depression In A Relationship




Depression is a mental illness that hinders a person to function normally. When it comes to a relationship, it influences couples to treat each other differently. It can either get them closer to each other when they tend to understand the situation or create complications when the couple ignores the signs. When a relationship causes anxiety, we are groomed to believe our relationship anxiety is the problem. After all, anxiety can strangle love, suffocate it, tear it apart, leaving most of us to believe that relationships and anxiety simply don’t mix,” says Alicia H. Clark, PsyD.

Road To A Better Understanding

When you are in a relationship with a depressed person, or you are the one who is experiencing the mental illness, it creates drastic changes in your psychological, spiritual, behavioral, and emotional well-being. And when couples think about it as something draining and upsetting, they become aware of their capabilities in handling stressful events in their lives. Somehow, it helps them to understand themselves better because it gives them enough reason to fight for the ones they love. “If you feel like they are a good candidate for the long term, you feel you can get very close to them, and they’re someone you could potentially love, then you should tell them, Michael Brustein, PsyD.




Its Connection To Failure Of Marriage

On the other hand, the main reason that makes couples end up with divorce is due to their lack of understanding of things when it comes to depression. They need to stop thinking about the other person’s mental condition as their responsibility because they can’t do anything about it. However, that doesn’t mean they need to stay away from their loved ones just because they can’t seem to handle the tension. Though the mental condition is something unworthy for some people, the person who is experiencing the psychological illness is having a different battle.


So Why Do We Complain?

We often complain about depression because it affects how we treat people. Our decisions can end up positive or negative depending on the intensity of the required approach. In some cases, we see it as something that can make us appreciate our strength in dealing with the situation. However, for those people who can’t seem to get out, they think that they are unworthy. Hence, they tend to motivate themselves to do the opposite instead of focusing on the things that matter in the relationship.


How Can We Overcome It?

Seriously, there are tons of ways that we can do to address depression in the relationship. However, not all of it applies to everybody. The solutions to the problems vary from one person to another. One way to deal with it is to know where it comes from and what causes it to flare up so we can gradually work our way through the step-by-step process of addressing it without stressing ourselves or hurting the people we love. Understanding your own role in a relationship, learning to sustain healthy relationships, and choosing to end (or not enter) unhealthy ones, are skills that can be learned but often take time and practice,” says Dr. Vince Berger.


The Power Of Experience

Even if we think we have all the knowledge that we need to address depression, there will always be a loophole especially when we are not the person who personally experiences the mental illness. We might say that we understand it very well, but it will still require us to feel and experience it before we can make a concrete judgment. We can’t base our decisions on assumptions because it will be hard for us to find solutions.




In general, there are millions of people who are in a relationship that suffers from depression. Some of them are still ongoing, others ended it, and some are still undecided. So if you’re one of those people who suffer from depression or your partner may be suffering from it, you need to address the condition as soon as possible.