This afternoon while I was on the train, I happened to overhear a middle-aged mother more than scold her son who’s probably around 14 or 15 based on his stature. I had to say “more than scold” because the woman smacked the teenager’s shoulder and arm while continuously loudly telling him how crazy he was to fail his Math exam in front of more or less ten people, including me.
I was pretty shocked when I saw it since her son was practically a young man already. Still, she’s treating the poor teenager as if he’s the dumbest person in the world for not getting a passing grade in Math. What I’m trying to point out here is that not every single person in this entire universe gets straight As all the time. If ever she’s one of those lucky people, apparently her son is not. Instead of soothing him, she’s bashing him, her own flesh and blood. Ugh! “The sooner I correct [my mistake], the less pain and trouble I cause myself and my loved ones. I am much quicker to forgive — myself and others,” says Christina Hibbert, PsyD.
Is It So Bad To Make A Mistake In This Lifetime?
I’m sad for that guy, and I know he’s not the only young person out there who has a perfectionist for a mother or a father, or worse, both (yikes). I get that they want their kids to come out as the best among their crowd because my parents want that for me, too. Their only difference is that my folks tell me that it’s okay to fail sometimes, provided that I know how to myself get back up. What the pushy moms and dads merely achieve is to push their kids towards the depression lane.
There are times that we hear from the news that a girl slashed her wrists until she bled to death or that a young guy jumped from the highest floor of the high school building. The reason: he or she cannot bear to see the disappointment in the parents’ faces if ever they get wind of the fact that she got B+ instead of her usual A+. Others prefer to die more than reveal that they lost a scholarship grant and see the disappointment on their parents’ faces.
It pains me to hear about such stories. Had their parents stopped pushing them into always being faultless and did not teach them that a minor dent in their grades is majorly unacceptable, they would have been alive and having fun with their loved ones by now. They would not have thought of committing suicide either.
We are teenagers, people. If the adults themselves have their slipups and downfalls now and then, surely we can too, right?
Not because I am saying that it is not wrong to make errors means to say that you are already entitled to make mistakes for the rest of your life. You’re not, and I haven’t seen or known anybody who’s been able to do such a thing. Committing a mistake or two for the same cause is excusable; however, if it goes beyond that, then you’ll give your parents no other choice but to shake your senses up a little bit. After all, it signifies that you still haven’t learned anything from your fault, so you keep on doing it again and again. “It’s so easy to get into the habit of believing that we are our mistakes, yet the truth of the matter is that we are an amalgamation of ALL that we learn in life,” says Carla Marie Manly, PhD.
A mistake is NOT something that should be made as a habit. Like we always hear from the oldies, “Once is enough, twice is too much, and thrice is dangerous.” “Remember, mistakes are a part of life. If you cruise through life avoiding risks, you’ll likely never grown in meaningful ways. Mistakes don’t halt your momentum; they help you figure out a better path” says Barbara Markway Ph.D.
Learn from it, but do not live with it.