Many people often experience depression in a relationship, and they don’t even notice it sometimes. It causes a lot of complication in marriage because couples tend to feel the pressure when it comes to decision making. In most times, they get preoccupied with a lot of stress that’s why they become less interested in finding ways to overcome their marital issues.
“When one spouse is depressed, a marriage is depressed,” according to Fran Walfish, a relationship psychotherapist.
Life With Depression
Depression is something that you can’t instantly take out of your life. It requires a lot of effort before you can finally say that you’re over it. Sometimes, even if you think you’re not affected, and you don’t find the situation alarming, the people around you may feel differently. The signs and symptoms turn more evident after a couple of weeks (even days), so you may feel exhausted, gloomy, irritated, agitated, and anxious about everything. It may also come to the point when you behave differently and won’t have the energy to function normally.
It Affects Everyone
You may think that depression can close its box on you alone, but the truth is, it affects everyone including your partner. The people around you feel the intense pressure of the mental disorder because of your actions toward them. “Many people are living with a spouse who is depressed and are suffering because of it,” says John A. Lundin, Psy.D. Depression can be frustrating and difficult for a spouse to know what to do.Sometimes, you won’t notice that you’re genuinely trying to push your significant other away. You become irrational and out of control and that’s something that they can’t seem to handle most of the times. When it comes to your married life, depression takes everything away from you. As the condition continuously stays untreated, you become a different person. Well, it’s not your fault why there’s a sudden shift in your personality because it’s the psychological effect of the mental illness that harms the function of your brain, making you think and act differently compared to your usual.
There are times that you may feel the need for isolation and that’s okay. However, you still need to consider making the right choice and personally ask for help. Depression can harmfully damage your life when you let it, so you need to be brave and firm enough to handle the situation. Use every help that you can get from people around you and don’t stop chasing for possibilities of a well-deserved mental and psychological development because, in the end, only you can create the necessary changes in your well-being.
Don’t Push It Too Hard
“Depression diminishes your ability to connect with your partner and creates doubts about your union,” as emphasized by psychologist Shannon Kolakowski, PsyD.
Trying to push your limits in understanding what depression is all about is also not helpful at all. You need to realize that there’s a need for internalization. You have to know yourself better for you to be able to address the mental illness in a less stressful way. From there, you can slowly try altering the things that trigger your condition and become aware of the things that you perhaps need and don’t need to do.
No one said fighting depression is going to be easy. However, with proper knowledge of what the mental condition can do to you, you can have an idea of the kind of life you’ll want to avoid. And with the help of your significant other, you’ll have better reasons to stay focused on getting better.